Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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