I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
