I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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