I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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