when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and she was petting her beer can
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
