he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
