Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
