Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
