Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
