the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
