I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
