i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
