once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
