Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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