I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
