one might say we're banned from that church
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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