Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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