I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
