We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
