Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
