Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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