omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
