Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
