i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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