i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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