I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
