I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
