My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
