I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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