im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
