so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
