people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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