Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
