How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
