office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
