Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
