Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
