All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
