i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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