If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
