Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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