I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Two words: blizzard sex
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
