How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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