Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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