I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
