I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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