That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
