So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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