We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
