I think my fart just growled at me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
