I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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