Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
